tomataz: In my head.

I've been thinking a lot about potential ideas for both the chance and thesis show this past week and continue to return to same over-arching ideas. Making comment on my my trials and tribulations is important to me. It's a natural desire that may be part of this healing process I continue to go through. What is equally significant is conveying this quasi-conversation that goes on in my head each day. It is incessant. At times it can becomes drawn out, filtering through an entire lifetime of do-rights and do-wrongs. Other times it is very present. I am continuously modifying my thoughts fearing that they will at some point lead me back to this awful place I was just 3 months ago. Anything is possible if we allow ourselves to fall weak. Strength and confrontation have been at the forefront of my brain these past few months.

Weakness and neglect are in the past.

So I am staying with self-portraiture. I feel that using myself as the present figure in these images is what will be. Though, I'd like to begin my exploration of other facets that do not involve the figure or perhaps conveyed through using someone else as the figure. I want my presence to be felt and interacted with. I keep going back to 3D or installation of some sort. Started to look into holography as well. Hmmmmm. Some of my ideas are very distinct and "ambitious" and unfortunately I may not have access to the technology to execute them.

Recently, I've also expressed more of an interest in working with less structured and stylized images. I sort of want to capture events as they are, using available lighting and less scripted actions or scenarios. It is hardly possible for me to just sit around with a camera around my neck until "I" do something worth capturing. Instead, I've just had a tripod waiting. To capture a given moment I return to whatever mental state I was in and start shooting. If I look at images afterward and get a legitimate sense of what I was feeling at the time, it is deemed a success.